Yo Dawg, I Heard You Like Glee
by Kindre Turnany
Summary: How many ridiculous nerd culture references can fit into a page and a half of Gleefic? I didn't count. R&R for the lulz. Crack fic.


This is the fic my boyfriend would write if he wrote Glee fanfiction. But he's illiterate, so I helped out. There's at least one joke in here that I don't really get, but he does. We don't own Glee. This is just meant to be kinda silly. Enjoy and have fun. :)

Please review! For me and for my boyfriend who will probably lol.

**Yo Dawg, I Heard You Like Glee**

Karofsky shoved Finn against the lockers, laughing. "Yo dawg, I heard you like glee."

Finn would have drawn back in shock, but the other jock had him pinned. "You knew?"

"The show's called _Glee_." Karofsky laughed again as Azimio approached with a slushie in each hand. One was red and the other blue, both stunningly bright and delicious. "How are you gonna get out of this one, Hudson?"

From down the hall, Puck shouted to his sort of friend, "Do a barrel roll!"

Finn knew then what he'd have to do to avoid being slushied (again). "I like One Piece!" he cried, twisting his body to the side. He found out you can't actually _do_ a barrel roll with just your body, especially when some jerk has you shoved against a wall. He might have missed that point except for the part where he fell down and the other guys poured red and blue slushie all over him.

Karofsky and Azimio walked away, still laughing.

"Dude, you got face pwnt," Puck said, standing over Finn.

"How was I supposed to do a barrel roll anyway, man?" Finn stood up but kind of wished he hadn't because the slushie dripped into his shoes, and that felt gross.

Puck shrugged. "Just walk into it. It's not Mordor." Then he turned and walked away as though that had explained everything.

Finn walked to glee club still covered in cold deliciousness and found everyone there playing children's card games, which was kind of weird because usually they'd be singing. Then he realized Rachel—who probably didn't know how to play—_was_ singing. Something about Brooklyn and rage.

"Wow, Finn," Kurt said from where he sat across a game from Mercedes. "You look like you activated someone's trap card." At which point he activated Mercedes' trap card and evidently lost their game.

She laughed. "Kurt used irony. It's super effective! For me anyway."

Finn went to find Mr. Schue and ask why Rachel was the only one gleeing it up a notch, but Quinn intercepted him.

"Hey, Finn," she whispered, "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

Finn wasn't sure why, but that sounded familiar. He got out of answering though because Mercededs and Puck started singing about Chocolate Rain, which sounded like it'd taste pretty good but get stains on everything. Finn took a moment to decide whether or not it'd be worth the mess to get chocolate syrup from the sky and decided: absolutely.

Since people had started singing, Finn gave up his search for Mr. Schue and sat down. Tina and Mike walked over in matching purple robes. It looked kind of silly, but Finn had worn worse—like the bright red shower curtain dress.

"Dude," Mike grinned while he spoke, but it was kind of creepy. "Convert to the cult of Cthulhu!" He held up a big book, but Finn couldn't read the title.

"Sorry, man, you need to construct additional pylons to convert me." Finn decided to be on the other side of the classroom.

Mr. Schue finally showed up, shouting, "Effing stimmed Marauders. Terran is so imba!" He paced across the room a few times before giving up and throwing his arms into the air. "Guys, we have to OWN Vocal Adrenaline this year. Seriously."

"What does that have to do with anything you just said?" Kurt asked, raising his hand.

"Everything!"

"I for one," Rachel announced, "Agree with Mr. Schue. Did you know they only play Alliance?"

Tina hissed and raised her arm like a vampire shielding its face from sunlight. She seemed to have lost her purple cloak and had a large bump on her head.

"But don't you have a Nelf?" Finn raised his hand when he spoke but felt kind of silly about it.

"I deleted that _ages_ ago when I saw the light of the Horde. Blood Elves are prettier."

"More like gayer," Puck said but corrected himself to "lamer" when every girl in the club plus Kurt gave him a death glare. "I bet she plays a Pally."

She smiled widely. "How did you know?"

"No one cares!" Kurt groaned.

"I do!" Rachel stamped her foot.

"Calm down everyone. We have to compete tonight against some noobs who call themselves People Who Are with the Singing," Mr. Schue told the club.

Coach Sue opened the door, peeked in, and said, "You are not prepared!" Then she left again.

"It's true," Brittany agreed. "And I left our music in my cat."

"Don't worry, everyone, I've got us covered. I can sing anything." Rachel preened even though no one was looking. She pulled a pile of sheet music out of her bag and began passing it around. "You all just back me up. I'll do the heavy lifting."

Santana yawned. "Too long, didn't read."

Finn tried to read the sheet music, but Rachel had replaced everything with gold stars, so it didn't make much sense anymore (assuming it had in the first place). "Can't we just sing Don't Stop Believing? It's not like a real competition thing, right?"

"You're not taking this seriously, Finn," Rachel accused him.

Finn shrugged.

Artie wheeled into the choir room. "Sorry I'm late, guys."

Mike frowned. "You're always late, Artie."

"And for good reason!" He pulled Brittany's cat and a pile of sheet music out of his bag.

Finn applauded even though he kind of wanted to do Don't Stop Believing now that he'd brought it up. But Mr. Schue had assured them they'd totally own the People Who Are with the Singing's faces with the song Brit lost in her cat. So he guessed that was good.

There are neither beginnings nor endings in the Glee, but this is definitely a place where Finn decided to stop wondering what was up and just go with it.


End file.
